gotta get back to school {markos}

[Alaric Tomas Jester]

august 16, 01:35 pm

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] That one stings a little, I'm always in the middle. I don't expect but try me, And you will always find me here. This is where I scream from. You can take it all away and I'll miss, There's a little bit of you in all this; And you can say you only think you know, yeah. Please, there's a better bit of me to see yet, Cause you haven't seen any of my best. You know I hate myself without you now. Hurts the same when nobody knows, I guess that's just how it goes, And I won't say anything at all
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0614 outfit: here notes: ohai.
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Alaric Jester frowned to himself as he read over the file of the student that would be escorted into his office at any moment. Markos Rhyder. Ric had hoped the kid would be one of the ones to make it. He had left the school the term before, clean and happier than before. However, it seemed that the student was going to be back under his care that year. Ric sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making an even bigger mess of it as he sank down in his seat. He would not have to spend too much time going over the school rules or anything with Markos, though; so, he guessed that would be the best part about the orientation. Of course, Ric would much rather not be having to do it at all. Markos was a good kid, a good student. He did not deserve to be caught up in the mess of addiction. Alaric wished there was more he could do to help, but that was not on him. It worried him that Markos would be coming back, as it meant something had gone wrong. Ric could think of many possible scenarios, but he did not like any of them. Every scenario he could think of was the exact reason he had outright refused to ever visit home. Of course, it helped that his parents wanted nothing to do with him to that day; but, that was all in the details. Ric sighed once more and shut the file when there was a knock on the door. "Door's open!" he called, flicking his hair out of his eyes before one of the campus security guards came in with Markos and the teen's bags. "You can set the bags down and go. We won't need your assistance." Ric smiled in thanks at the guard, who nodded and set the bags down as requested before leaving the two of them in the room, shutting the door after him. "Hello, Markos, why don't you sit? Or stand if you really want. We've still got some formalities to go through, y'know." It really did sadden him to have the teen in his office once more, obviously not there just to visit. "I'm sure you remember the rules. Curfew is eleven, you must go to every class and counseling session, no fighting or weapons, no drugs, and so on and so forth," Ric stated as he pushed himself away from the desk so that he could get up and go over to Markos' bags and begin the mandatory bag search. Ric hated that part, as he did not like going through his students' things; but, he did it as quickly as he could, while still being thorough. He checked every compartment, and double checked for ones that might be hidden before he returned to his desk, flicking his hair back out of his eyes. "So, Markos, you're back. I had hoped I wouldn't see you here again. D'you wanna talk about what happened?" Ric would love to talk to the kid about what happened to him, to find out why he had (Ric was assuming) relapsed. He wanted to be able to try to help it not happen again. "Or we could just sit here and watch the clock tick by, though I'm sure that will get very, very boring. Don't you think?" Alaric, as usual, was trying to stay as light-hearted as possible, but sometimes, it just fell flat. He felt the compulsion to try, though; and, that was something that would always just be a part of his personality.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos wasn't exactly pleased to be back at St. Helena's again. Well, he was, but he wasn't. He was because Izzy was here. He wasn't because it meant he had failed. He'd failed society. Failed his parents. Failed himself. Failed Izzy. Failed Ric. Failed everyone. He was a failure. His parents couldn't even bear the sight of him. He wondered vaguely if he would ever be welcomed home after this. After all, they were alright at first... it hadn't been his fault that his coach had been corrupt. But it was his fault that he had failed rehab. That he had relapsed. It was his fault that he was weak. He was a coward. He followed the security guards through the school, taking paths and hallways that were quite familiar to him, all to familiar was the door they stopped in front of. He closed his eyes as the voice on the other side said that the door was open. He walked in with the security guards and sat down, setting the bag he carried next to those security set down. He forced himself to keep his eyes on the floor as he heard his counselor going through his bags. He knew that Ric didn't like it any more than he did, but it was proceedure. Had to make sure he wasn't sneaking anything in that was banned. He clasped his hands in his lap, slouching down a bit in the chair before the other was shutting the door and stating that they had some formalities to go through. He nodded vaguely. He knew the drill, unfortunately. He could almost hear the disappointment in Ric's voice. Ric had been so happy when he'd left... if only he had had the strength to continue on. He nodded as the other stated the rules, curfew and what not while going through his bags. And then the other male was moving back to his desk and saying he'd hoped he wouldn't see him there again. Yeah, him and so many others. He shrugged slightly as the other asked what happened. "I was weak," he whispered softly. "I couldn't hold out on my own." Everyone expected him to do it by himself. It was his problem, after all. He looked up at the other as he stated that they could sit there and watch the clock tick by, but it'd be rather boring. He sighed, looking back down at his hands as he wondered where to start with his explination of how things had happened. He sighed, still not able to look Ric in the eye as he spoke. "My parents enrolled me into my old high school... my friends... the ones from the Team previously... well... they welcomed me back, of course, they wanted me to play again next season, I was one of their better players... but when we were going to practices and stuff... I thought I'd gotten worse." He winced slightly, closing his eyes slightly. "Some of them were still using," he admitted softly. He clenched his teeth slightly before speaking once more. "It was one time... and of course that one time was when my parents decided to show up on time to pick me up from practice," he said softly. Looking up at Ric finally, his own disgust at himself evident. "I didn't... they didn't understand. None of them. Not my friends, not my family. None of them. They all said it was something I had to deal with. It was my issue." He frowned. "I can't do everything by myself. But that's not something I can tell my parents. No... asking for help is for the weak... and I don't want to be weak. They were so pissed..." He winced slightly at the memory of their anger. "I'm a pathetic worm unworthy of the air I breathe," he said softly. tag: ric | outfit: here | words: 677

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Alaric Tomas Jester]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] That one stings a little, I'm always in the middle. I don't expect but try me, And you will always find me here. This is where I scream from. You can take it all away and I'll miss, There's a little bit of you in all this; And you can say you only think you know, yeah. Please, there's a better bit of me to see yet, Cause you haven't seen any of my best. You know I hate myself without you now. Hurts the same when nobody knows, I guess that's just how it goes, And I won't say anything at all
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0545 outfit: here notes: ohai.
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] "Everyone has moments of weakness, Markos," Alaric stated with a nod, flicking his hair back out of his eyes. As much as it sucked, it was true. Ric was not happy to see Markos back at the school, but he could not fault the teen for having a moment of weakness. He was human, after all; and, humans made mistakes. It showed some good character, however, that Markos felt bad about his mistakes. There were many addicts who would relapse, and not feel any remorse because they got what they wanted once again. Markos showed obvious signs of remorse, and that, in Ric's view, was a good sign. Alaric listened quietly from his desk chair as Markos explained what it was like at home. Going back to the world that had gotten him into his addiction in the first place would not be easy. "That is always something that's hard to handle, being thrown back into that world. That's why I never went home until I was ready," Alaric explained with a shake of his head. However, he knew that he had never been back home himself. He still did not think he could handle it. His parents wanted nothing to do with him, after all; and, that was where his friend was buried. No, it was just better if he stay away. Markos did not need to know that, though. "I can't do everything by myself. But that's not something I can tell my parents. No... asking for help is for the weak... and I don't want to be weak. They were so pissed..." Alaric's brow furrowed as Markos spoke. His parents had expected him to just handle everything alone? That was never a good thing. That was just asking for him to relapse. How could they not realize that Markos needed help to stay clean? Wasn't it common knowledge that addicts were people who needed a good, strong support system. "I'm a pathetic worm unworthy of the air I breathe." Alaric held his hands up at that statement from the teen and shook his head with a frown and a soft sigh. "No, wait, hold up," he said before crossing his arms over the top of his desk so that he could lean against it. "You're not pathetic, Markos. Mistakes happen, and as bad as they are, relapses happen... especially when you don't have a good support system, and from the sounds of it, you didn't have one." Alaric sighed and reached up to run a hand through his hair before resting his head against his hand to hold it up. "Y'know, I found my support system here, when I was a student. My best friend. I wouldn't have been able to get clean without her. She was here through the withdrawals and relapses. I'd have been lost without her. You need something like that, at least one person who is going to be there for you through it all." Alaric wished that the kid had had a better support system at home, one that would have made it easier to try to stay clean; or maybe even parents who understood it's not going to be easy.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Everyone had moments of weakness. Except his father. His father wasn't weak. Weaknesses were for women and children, not for the men of the house. He sighed softly, sliding further down into his chair. "Regardless... I'm still weak." He'd given into peer pressure, into that little voice in the back of his head that said 'it will make you play better and it feels so good'. He'd always acredited the feelings of the steroids to the elation and adrenaline of the game and of winning. How wrong he'd been. He looked up towards Ric as the other stated that going back into the world that had started the addiction wouldn't be hard. "I didn't want to leave..." he confessed softly, looking back at the floor. Was he awful to say this? "My parents wanted me home. They told me that I'd been clean for a year, so I must be cured." He frowned slightly as he shook his head. No matter how hard he'd tried to say otherwise, his parents wouldn't hear it. Though then the other was telling him to wait. He looked back up at the other as he stated that he wasn't pathetic and that mistakes and relapses happened, especially without a good support system. "You say I'm not worthless, but that's not what my father says. That's all he could tell me that day he found out... I'm a pathetic worm, I'm nothing but a snivelling coward, a pathetic excuse for a son, the list goes on and on... and he's right. I failed him. I failed my mother, and my sister. I failed you. I failed myself..." And he'd failed Izzy. How could he expect Isaac to be strong if he couldn't be strong? He was the strong one. Poor Isaac. He hadn't even really gotten to say goodbye. He looked up again as the other male told him about his friend. "Do you still keep in contact with her?" he asked softly, wondering if maybe he could stay in touch with Izzy after school. "I have a friend here... someone who needs me as much as I need him. I worry about him. The whole time I was gone, I was afraid he was going to relapse himself. He'd been doing so good when I left. But... he has issues... I think me leaving only helped strengthen those issues." He sighed, sitting forward and placing his elbows on his knees, putting his head in his hands. He hadn't seen Izzy yet... but he knew that the other male probably hadn't been doing well. He cut himself off, and to anyone who didn't want to get their heads out of their own asses long enough to get to know him, then Izzy was alone. "He and I made a deal, you see... he'd stay straight... I'd stay straight. We kept each other honest, I guess... I'd help him through the tough times, and he'd help me..." And he really cared about Izzy. He looked up at Ric at this point. "Anything I tell you here is between us, right? You can't tell anyone?" he asked, biting his lip slightly. "I think I'm in love with him... I mean... he's the only one that I can be myself with and not have to worry about how he thinks about me... you know what I mean? He's... my best friend... but he's more than that... if that makes sense." He frowned. Now he was just rambling like a crazy person... tag: ric | outfit: here | words: 612

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Alaric Tomas Jester]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] That one stings a little, I'm always in the middle. I don't expect but try me, And you will always find me here. This is where I scream from. You can take it all away and I'll miss, There's a little bit of you in all this; And you can say you only think you know, yeah. Please, there's a better bit of me to see yet, Cause you haven't seen any of my best. You know I hate myself without you now. Hurts the same when nobody knows, I guess that's just how it goes, And I won't say anything at all
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0714 outfit: here notes: ohai.
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Alaric nodded in understanding when Markos admitted that he had not wanted to leave, and he absentmindedly clicked his tongue ring against his teeth. "Well," he said with a sigh as he leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him, "if they want you to go back home again, and you feel you're not ready, tell me. I'll make sure you stay." Alaric was about helping his students; and, sometimes, not letting them go home was the best way to do that. If Markos did better there, away from the pressures of home; then, Ric believed Markos should be allowed to stay there for as long as he remained in school. "Recovery is never as easy as 'oh, he's not used in x amount of time, he's better!', and I'm sorry your parents can't see that." Ric himself had gone through many very shaky moments during his road to recovery. In all honesty, he would still consider himself a recovering addict; because he did not believe anyone would fully be recovered from an addiction. It might get easier, and you may find ways around the want to use; but, deep down, that want will always have some form. "You did not fail anyone, kid," Alaric emphasized with a shake of his head, smiling reassuringly at the teen. "You fell down; but, you're picking yourself back up. That in itself is a major win, you know." He smiled when Markos asked him if he still kept in contact with his friend. "Every day; even before she started working here. Miss Abigail, the chemistry teacher? She's my best friend; seen me at my worst, helped me to my best. I owe her a lot. She's my support system, was even when we went to different colleges." Alaric nodded, reaching up to ruffle his hair absently with a soft smile. His Abby was definitely one of his favorite people. Alaric was glad to hear that Markos had a friend at the school, someone that he was worried about. It meant that the teen had more of a reason to want to get clean. Because if he was not, he would not be able to help his friend so easily. He nodded in understanding when Markos told him that they had been helping one another stay away from their vices. "It's good that you have someone to support you; and, you support them in return. One friend can make all the difference, and I'm sure, despite the circumstances, your friend will be glad to see you." Alaric knew that if Nykki had left while they were in school, he would have been totally lost; and, her returning? It would have made things so much better, though Ric would have been sad that she had gotten bad enough that she needed to return. It was a bitter-sweet thought; but, Ric was just glad that Markos had any sort of support system. It would make all the difference. "Of course, anything you say to me will be just between us. I won't tell a soul." Alaric shook his head a little as he sat up straight once again, arms crossing as he rested them on top of the desk. The only way Alaric would tell anyone would be if what Markos told him put someone in danger; and, then he was obligated to say something. "You really think that?" questioned Alaric after Markos had told him about his feelings; though, it was more of a statement. "Then, tell him. Write it if you can't find the words to say. Find a song that says it better than you can. Write it in a poem. Send it on a note in some flowers. Who cares how you do it; just tell him." It was the best bit of advice that Alaric had to offer, and he meant it, too. He felt that both Markos and his friend, whoever the friend may be, would benefit from Markos coming clean about his feelings. If Markos staying clean was enough reason for the other teen to stay clean from whatever vice he had, then Ric was pretty sure Markos' feelings were not exactly one sided.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos looked up at the other male as he stated that if his parents wanted him to go home again and he didn't feel he was ready, he should tell him. "I didn't know they were gonna keep me though. I mean I went home for holiday, and they just... didn't let me come back... I don't know how to tell you about something like that. But I mean really... what can you do? Honestly? Either way?" He shook his head. He didn't see how Ric could possibly hold any sway over his parents. He wasn't here because of some court order... he was here because his parents didn't want to have to face that their son was a drug addict. They wanted him as far from them and his sister as possible so he didn't corrupt her while he was rehabilitated into their perfect little son. He shrugged absently when the other stated that recovery was never as easy as his parents thought it was. "Yeah, well... they think it should be, I guess..." he said softly. "I don't know that I'll ever be good enough for them anymore. I've shattered their perfect family image..." he said softly, staring at his hands in his lap. "The perfect straight A son who is the star of some athletic team and the upbeat daughter who is attached to her phone and gossips about boys..." He cringed slightly, a look of discomfort on his features. "And heaven forbid if they find out their son is entertaining thoughts of being with another guy..." He shook hi shead and looked up at the other male as he stated he didn't fail anyone. But he did. He had failed everyone who had counted on him. His father had made sure he was well aware of that fact. In fact, he was still sore from that lesson. It had been a while since he'd gotten a beating, since he was in elementary school. This had been worse, though Markos wasn't sure if it was just because he was older and understood it better or not. He didn't know. He wasn't very keen on it though. He still had bruises on his ribs and back. That had sucked. He had fallen down alright. "But I'm clumsy... and can't get back up by myself," he whispered softly to the counselor sitting across from him. Could Ric understand? He'd been an addict, Markos knew. He wasn't sure what the male had been addicted too, but knew at least that Ric had been through what he was going through. Markos listened as Ric described his friend. The chemistry teacher? He'd thought the Chem teacher was some old and partially balding guy. Must have retired after Markos had left and been replaced by a Miss Abigail. "Is that what she goes by? Just Miss Abigail?" It was unusual for a teacher to let students use their first name. But not completely unheard of. Though he was glad that Ric understood even that. His need for his support system. His Izzy. He looked up at the other. "I hope so. I also hope that he's been stronger than I was in my absence..." he said softly, looking back at his hands. He wasn't sure how Izzy had faired. He'd have to look for him as soon as he could. He wondered what dorm room they'd put him in this year. A nod was offered as Ric asked if he really thought that he had feelings for Izzy. He laughed, albeit a bit bitterly, when the male told him he should tell him. Write it down, sing a song, write a poem? A note in some flowers? All ways that sounded kind of cheesey to him. "And what if he takes it badly? Get's freaked out? Then I've lost him. Lost my support system," he said softly. And Izzy would withdraw even further into himself. He'd condemn them both. For his own selfish reasons. Could he do that? Risk that? "It could really mess him up..." Maybe it would help if Ric knew who it was? Most people who knew about Izzy knew how skittish he was. "It's Izzy... you know... Isaac Steel? I'd probably scare the hell out of him with some declaration of love or something." No... best to keep it to himself. right? tag: ric | outfit: here | words: 764

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Alaric Tomas Jester]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] That one stings a little, I'm always in the middle. I don't expect but try me, And you will always find me here. This is where I scream from. You can take it all away and I'll miss, There's a little bit of you in all this; And you can say you only think you know, yeah. Please, there's a better bit of me to see yet, Cause you haven't seen any of my best. You know I hate myself without you now. Hurts the same when nobody knows, I guess that's just how it goes, And I won't say anything at all
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0630 outfit: here notes: ohai.
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Alaric smiled as he absently tapped his fingers on his desk. "We have ways, Markos. You're not the first student who could benefit from staying here, after all," Alaric stated with a nod. He would much rather have a student be somewhere they felt that they were actually better, than allow them to go back to a home that made them relapse. Ric knew what it was like to not have family on your side, and he wished that Markos did not know the same treatment. At least Alaric's siblings had forgiven him for his mistakes. He did not know what he would have done if they had not allowed him to see his niece and nephew. As long as he stayed clean, he would be allowed to see the little ones. "My parents expected me to be the picture perfect icon of a son, too. I never was. They still won't speak to me; but, I've got people who understand me, care about me, have forgiven me... these people, they're more important than the ones who can't." Alaric had taken a long time to accept that fact, and he did not expect his words to suddenly make Markos feel better. Alaric laughed softly when Markos mentioned that he could not get back up by himself, and he shook his head a little. "Nobody expects you to get up by yourself; and, if anyone does, then they don't understand. It's not easy. Some people can pick themselves back up, but, that is very, very rare." Alaric was not sure what the kid had been told or thought that led him to believe that he needed to go it alone. That was ridiculous. "I'm not sure what Nykki has the students call her by, to be honest," replied Alaric with a shake of his head. It was not something he had ever thought to ask, and it never really came up in conversation. Alaric chewed on his lower lip for a moment when the teen asked about what if the friend freaked out over learning the truth. "They were willing to give up their vice for you; I highly doubt they'll freak out." Alaric did not know who the person was, but he did not think anyone would really try to let go of their safety net for just anyone. It did not seem right. When Markos finally told him the name of the other student, Alaric smiled and laughed softly. "No, I don't think Issac would react that way," replied Alaric with a shake of his head. Izzy was probably one of his better students, even if the quiet teen tried very hard to hide it. Ric could see the ease in which he played piano, and he was sure that if Izzy would actually sing in choir instead of lip-synch, he would have a voice that would shock them all. Only someone who was really good would work so hard to hide something, and continue to be in a class about it. "I don't think Izzy would freak out. He's stronger than even he knows, and I think it would do him good to hear someone's honest feelings for him that are good. From what I understand, he's never really had that before." Alaric was not Izzy's counselor, so he did not know the teen's full story; but, from talk between the counselors, and what little bit he had gotten Izzy to admit himself, Ric was fairly sure there were not many good people in the soft-spoken boy's life. Issac was a caring boy, though; and, Ric could easily see the two of them being good for one another.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos wasn't sure if he was comforted by the fact that Mr. Jester seemed so convinced that he would be able to keep him there if that's what he wanted. "But I'm here because of my parents, not because of some kind of court order... wouldn't they have the authority to overwrite the school and pull me out?" he asked with confusion as he watched the other male. That was certainly how it worked at other schools, Markos thought, but perhaps because St. Helena's was not your typical school, they could keep him there. But then, he was still technically a minor. He wasn't sure how the school could keep him there. He looked back up at the teacher as the other male began to speak again. Markos gave a small nod when Mr. Jester let it be known that his parents had also thought that he should be the perfect son as well. They still didn't talk to him though? He winced slightly at the mere thought. How could he go as long as Mr. Jester obviously had and have his parents not speak to him? Sure, they were hard on him, but only because they wanted him to succeed, right? Otherwise... all he had... was Izzy. Sure, he wasn't unpopular by any means around the school, even at St. Helena's he played a damn good game of soccer. But his teammates weren't exactly close to him. They hung out, they goofed off but... what else? Nothing. "I don't have many people that can accept that I have an issue and forgive me for it. At first, my parents were alright. Because it wasn't my fault initially. But... its my fault that I'm not getting better. My fault that I relapsed." He shrugged slightly. When the other male said that nobody expected him to get up by himself and those who did just didn't understand, Markos shrugged slightly. He knew it wasn't easy. He had to get over thinking he wasn't good enough. Had to convince himself that he was not better off with the steroids. They didn't make him better. Didn't do anything for him that he couldn't do himself with the proper determination. "Well, at least you don't think less of me because I can't do it on my own." His parents, his sister, hell even his grandparents gave him those looks of utter disappointment when they'd had to re-enroll him into St. Helena's. "My whole family was displeased when they had to re-enroll me back into the school. Nykki? Oh, must be his friend, Abigail. He gave a soft laugh. "How many names does she have? Nykki? Abigail? That's two at least... and Abigail can usually be shortened to Abby so..." He laughed again. "Might be difficult for her students to know what to call her if she has three different names," he stated simply, tilting his head slightly at the thought. Though as Mr. Jester said that Izzy had been willing to give up his vice for him, that he doubted he'd freak out at the confession of feelings. Well, Markos could hope, he guess. Otherwise, the only one he'd have he could talk to would be Mr. Jester, and how sad would that be? Maybe he should get a button that said his therapist said he was normal. "I hope he wouldn't." Though he wasn't sure that it wasn't asking for a lot of him. "He is stronger than he knows... I keep trying to make him realize that." Wasn't working to well, or well... it hadn't been before he'd left. Izzy still had no idea of his self-worth and what he could do. "Before I left I'd make sure he knew every day that I thought he was perfect... but me being gone... I dont' know if he's had anyone else around to help him..." Which sucked. tag: ric | outfit: here | words: 686

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