the upside to relapse {markos}

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

august 16, 2013 - 03:05 pm

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0631 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Izzy had a thing about not wandering the halls when there were other students in them. He did not like large crowds; plus, if there were a lot of students in the halls, there was a greater chance of someone touching him, and he could possibly freak out and panic. Isa hated panic attacks and tried to avoid them at all costs. That was why he had permission to be late to all his classes so he could get between them when the other students were already settled in the class. Sometimes he would leave early, instead; but, either way, he was not breaking any rules. That day, he sat in his final class well after his classmates had left, doodling in the margins of his notebook that housed his newest story, that he had completed in the middle of his last class. It was time to seal yet another notebook that would go in the plastic bin underneath his bed back in the dorms. Enough time had passed for Isa to decide to gather his things, hugging his notebook to his chest as he left the room. He walked slowly, humming almost inaudibly under his breath. One foot went in front of the other and he focused on the ground just in front of his shoes. Izzy's eyes strayed every few moments to look ahead, making sure he was not going to run into someone. It would be terrible if he did run into someone that day. He was so tense and on edge from a phone call with his brother the other day that Iz was not sure he could handle something like that without panicking. He was almost to the main doors, and the doorway that led to the administration wing, when he looked up once more to check the path ahead, only to freeze with an almost inaudible gasp of surprise when he saw the last person he ever expected to see again. "M-Markos?" Izzy asked, nearly startling himself at the fact that he had voiced the thought out loud. He had not meant to, but there was no taking it back. Of course, Iz was not sure whether or not Markos had actually heard him, as he was not sure exactly how loud his voice had been. Markos was the only person that Izzy had really gotten to know there at St. Helena's, and the two of them had grown quite close before Markos' parents had decided it was time to bring him home since he had been clean. Iz did not think he would have made it through his freshman year if it had not been for the other teen. However, Markos had been taken back home by his parents at some point the term before, and Izzy had been sure that Markos would not come back. Isa was not sure whether or not it was a good thing that Markos was there. After all, if he was there, then something was wrong. However, Iz was glad to see Markos again. He was not sure if that sentiment was returned, though. Izzy bit his lower lip lightly, absentmindedly tightening his hold on his notebook as he walked closer to where Markos was. "What are you doing here? I-I thought you went home." He had seriously thought that Markos was going to stay gone; and, while he had tried to make himself okay with that thought, it really was not the best of ones. Isa could not keep himself from smiling softly at the fact that Markos was right there in front of him, even if it meant that something had to have happened. He wished that were not the case, but Isa was not sure why else Markos would be there.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos sighed, shifting the weight of his backpack on his shoulder as he exited Ric's office. He shook his head, still going over everything that the other male had told him when he'd confided in him. His bags would be taken to his dorm room so that he didn't have to carry them all. Only his very personal items were left on his person, in the backpack he carried on his back. One hand tucked into the pocket of his pants, the other gripping the strap of the pack, he started down the familiar hallways and towards the dormrooms. His eyes were on the ground as he filtered through everything he and Ric had gone over. Especially regarding a certain dark-haired boy. And speaking of said boy, his attention came upwards at the sound of his voice. His eyes locked on the form of Issac Steel as he heard the other's voice call his name. He had lost weight, and it tore a piece of Markos's chest. It pained him. It wasn't as noticible as one would think, but to Markos, who knew Izzy more intimately than almost any other, it was noticible. He moved forward towards the other male at this point as the other had watched him. When the other asked what he was doing there, that he thought he'd gone home, Markos winced slightly. "Yeah... didn't work out exactly the way I'd hoped," he stated softly, pausing in front of the other male with a faint smile. "Had a slight relapse... parents freaked, so... here I am." As if relapses weren't a normal part of rehabilitation. He offered the other a small smile. "I missed you though, Izzy," he said softly, watching the other male. "You busy? Maybe we could hang out? Catch up?" he asked, shrugging slightly. "I just went through the orientation stuff with Ric... it'd be good to have someone else to talk to though that isn't paid to sit there and nod understandingly," he said softly. Also, there was something else he needed to talk to Izzy about. Better to get it over with quickly, right? "I'm just headed to the dorms to drop my stuff off, then maybe you and I could go to our spot and sit and talk?" Yeah, they had a spot... though not like most people would think... he had only ever been there for Izzy in the way that the other needed him. It wasn't sexual. Not that Markos wouldn't have... but that wasn't what Izzy had needed. He hesitantly moved forward, allowing the other to stop him if he wished, before wrapping his arms around the other's form. And if seeing hadn't been enough, he could definitely feel that Izzy had lost weight. He closed his eyes, tightening his hold slightly. "Oh, Izzy... seems we both had a moment of weakness..." he whispered softly. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you... I should never have let my parents pull me from here. I knew I wasn't ready..." he said softly. And likely never would. Not the way his parents wanted him to be anyway. tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 547

[/td][/tr][/table]

template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will come nom your face off

[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0606 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Izzy bit his lower lip lightly as Markos explained that going home had not worked out like he had thought, and he absently took one step closer when Markos mentioned that he had relapsed. Isa really did not like that thought, but at the same time, he knew all about relapses. He had gone through his own, and it actually had nothing to do with eating. He had relapsed hard with self harm, his left thigh was, at that moment, basically one big wound from the layers of small cuts made there. Isa had been so focused on keeping the injuries clean and hidden from the staff that he had not even noticed he was skipping meals more often. That had more to do with him not wanting to venture to the cafeteria or ordering food (which meant he would have to deal with a stranger) than not wanting to eat at all. Isa did not believe that being any smaller would make him attractive, anyway. He still could not see whatever it was that Markos saw; though, not for lack of trying. "I missed you, too," Izzy replied quietly but earnestly. He honestly had missed Markos, more than he had admitted to anyone. With a shake of his head, Izzy wet his lips and said, "N-no, I'm not busy. I'd like that." Even if he had been busy for some reason, Issac would have agreed to spending time with Markos. He was the only person Isa was close to, after all. "Okay. I could... I can wait there o-or go with you... if you want." Izzy really did not care either way. He would much prefer spending as much time with Markos as possible, but he did not want to hover too much or be around too much if it annoyed the other boy. "Oh," Izzy breathed out when Markos hugged him, tensing for just a moment at the initial reaction of someone touching him that he always had. It was worse than it was when Markos left, though, simply because no one had touched Izzy since he left. After a few moments, though, Isa relaxed and let go of his notebook with one arm to wrap around Markos in turn. His fingers twisted into the back of the other boy's hoodie, clinging on tightly. His brow furrowed at Markos' words as he hid his face in the other teen's shoulder, something he often did. He was not sure what Markos was talking about for a moment, but then he realized that it probably had to do with the weight his therapist had pointed out he had lost. "O-oh. That's... I didn't... It wasn't on purpose," he said softly with a slight shake of his head. He honestly had not purposely lost weight. It just happened because of his avoidance of people. He was not eating like he would when Markos was there to sit in the cafeteria with him or to answer the door if they ordered food; but, it was not like he never ate. It just was not as often as he probably should. "I missed you," he admitted softly once again, nodding as he kept his face hidden, clinging a little tighter to Markos. "I like it better when you're here." Izzy was in no means glad about the reasoning behind Markos being back at the school; but, he could not deny the fact that he really was glad that Markos was there. He always felt safe when Markos was there, even more so when Markos' arms were around him.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos smiled as the other male stated that he had missed him too. That was definitely a good start. At least Izzy had learned to like him over the time that he'd been there. And he smiled when the other stated he wasn't busy, that he would love to get caught up with him. Good, good. He smiled slightly, reaching up to stroke the other's cheek lightly. "Why don't you come with me? No reason why we can't start getting caught up on the walk over since we're going to the same building." He smiled slightly at the other male, shifting his arm around the other's waist, not really wanting to let him go so long as Izzy wasn't fighting the contact. When he'd felt the other tense up, he'd been afraid that he'd been gone to long. That Izzy wouldn't allow his touch anymore, though when he'd relaxed, Markos had let his hopes rise once more. Izzy wasn't about to push him away or draw away himself. Izzy was allowing the contact, so Markos wasn't going to let it pass him by. Though as the other stated his weight loss wasn't on purpose, Markos eyed him for a moment before tightening his hold slightly. "Well its not gonna be happening accidentally or on purpose at all while I'm around, Isa. You gotta keep your strength up, you know," he said reprimandingly, though in a gentle and teasing voice as he looked at the other. He smiled as the other tightened his hold on him. He rather liked it when the other was close to him. "I like it better when I'm with you," Markos whispered, bowing his head to kiss the top of Isaac's head gently. So he turned the other male, and started to walk towards the dorms with him. "So, Izzy... you met anyone new while I was gone?" he asked. While he doubted it, he thought it would be a good thing. Maybe Izzy had found someone else to help him in his absence. "Anything new been going on? And trouble with... people giving you a hard time?" He asked, looking towards the other male as they walked, exiting the administration wing to head to the dorms. He looked over at the other as they walked, wondering how to tell the other male how he felt. When they reached the dorms, Markos glanced at the paper Ric had given him which had his new dorm room on it. "301... roommate's name is Tyler..." he said softly, looking towards Izzy. "I don't recognize the name, do you know anything about him?" It was unlikely, Izzy tended to keep to himself, but it was possible the other male had seen or heard something about his new roommate as he started climbing the stairs to deposit his backpack. "Do you want to stop by your room and drop your notebook off or... no?" he asked, regretfully releasing his grip on the other's waist so that they could climb the stairs safely. tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 526

[/td][/tr][/table]

template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will come nom your face off

[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0696 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] "Why don't you come with me? No reason why we can't start getting caught up on the walk over since we're going to the same building." Izzy smiled and nodded in agreement, glad that Markos had agreed. He did not want to be too far from the other teen for a while now that he knew that Markos was back. Maybe it was because he feared that Markos would leave again. "Okay," Izzy said softly when Markos stated that the weight loss thing would not be an issue with Markos there. He had not intended to lose weight in the first place; but, he knew that having Markos there would make sure it would not happen anymore. Going to the cafeteria would be easier with Markos there, and the other teen could always answer the door if they ordered food; it would make sure that Izzy got food, but did not have to deal with anything he couldn't face. Izzy closed his eyes for a moment when Markos pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and he smiled softly. He turned with Markos' direction and the two of them started out of the building. Isa wet his lips and shook his head when Markos asked him if he had met anyone new. There were a few new students, but Isa had not really met any of them. "N-not really? I mean... I-I talk to a few people in cl-classes, but..." He lifted his shoulders in a shrug, flicking his hair back out of his eyes. There was not anybody Izzy would really spend time with that was not because of a school assignment. He did not hang out with people and spent the majority of his time in his room. Izzy bit his lip lightly at the question about people picking on him. There would always be people picking on him, no matter what he did. He had learned to accept it, no matter how much it bothered him. "N-not more than usual," he admitted with a shake of his head. Izzy flicked his hair out of his eyes and glanced at the paper that Markos was holding once they reached the dorms and he nodded a little at the question. "Tyler Cooper? He's n-nice. Quiet. We have two classes together. I don't r-really know him past that, th-though." Isa shook his head a little, absently wetting his lips. Isa nodded a little and smiled softly at the question. They could not walk up the stairs with their arms around each other like before, but Isa took the initiative to link his fingers with Markos' as they climbed the stairs, his bravery only spurred by the extreme dislike of not being close to the other teen. He led Markos off the staircase once they were on the second floor so that they could go to Izzy's room, which was right there by the stairs; room 201. Isa reluctantly let go of Markos' hand so that he could dig his key out of his bag, fumbling a little with it, though he managed to get the door opened. The room was set up just like his room the year previous, and Izzy went in to set his things on his desk. He grabbed his phone, keys still in hand before turning to go back to the door, smiling softly at Markos. "M'kay, we can go to your room, now." Iz really hoped that Tyler would not be in the room, because talking to someone else was not high in his want list at the moment. Isa grabbed Markos' hand once again so that they could go back to the stairs and continue to the floor above, where Markos' room would be. Izzy really did not want to linger anywhere, because the more they did, the longer it would take them to get to their spot, where they did not have to worry about anyone bothering them. "Can we go to our spot, now?" Izzy asked softly after they had stopped at Markos' dorm for him to drop off his bag.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos smiled slightly at the other male as they walked, glad Izzy was being so agreeable with him. Did this mean he was forgiven? Forgiven for abandoning him? For failing him? Sure. Mr. Jester had stated that he hadn't failed anyone, but he had. He'd especially failed Izzy. He looked over at the other as he stated that he hadn't really met anyone new, and had only talked to people in classes. He nodded slowly. It was as he'd suspected. He'd left, and Izzy had cut himself off from everyone again. That just wouldn't do. He looked back at the other as a movement caught his eye and he watched the other flick hair from his eyes. At least the other wasn't hiding behind his hair anymore. Though the thought of someone still picking on him made Markos a bit upset. He needed to deal with that shit, and quickly. He'd reestablish the nofuckingwithizzy rule right damn quick now that he was back. No one messed with Isaac while he was around, damn it, it just didn't fly with him. He looked back at the other as he gave what he knew about Tyler. Quiet. Well that could be good. Or it could be bad. Sometimes it was the quiet ones you had to worry about, but then most people thought Izzy was quiet too, and Izzy was quiet... to most people. He smiled as the other male laced their fingers together though, and he rather liked the small connection between the two of them, tightening his hold slightly on the other's hand before allowing him to release his hand whenever they reached the second floor. He waited in the door for Izzy to drop off his things before taking his hand once more and moving up to the third floor. Stopping at room 301, he used the key he was given and unlocked the door, knocking lightly before entering to be sure he didn't shock the hell out of his new roommate if he were in there. But it was vacant, so he simply dropped off his bag by the door and put his key into his pocket and closed the door, locking it back and smiling at Izzy. He took the other's hand again, smiling as he asked if they could go to their spot. "Sure thing," he stated, moving with Izzy to their 'spot'. Their 'spot' was only an older dorm room that wasn't used because there had been a tragedy there previously. A student had commited suicide there or something, but there was rumors amongst the students of something worse. Now whether that was true or not was never confirmed nor denied by any of the staff. But no one had been put there in years. So as they reached the room, Markos easily jiggled the handle to let them into the room and smiled slightly as he opened it to allow he and Izzy into the room and closed the door behind them after flipping on the lights. Though dimmer than the other dorm rooms, it wasn't dark. Which was good for Izzy's sake. He moved towards the bare bed that hadn't been made up in a while and tugged Izzy down with him to sit beside of him, and he leaned against the wall, tugging the other closer. "I really did miss you, you know..." he said softly, running his fingers through the other's hair. "How... how have you been?" he asked hesitantly. tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 594

[/td][/tr][/table]

template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will come nom your face off

[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0651 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Issac smiled when Markos told him they could head to their spot. He absently squeezed Markos' hand a little before following the other teen's lead toward the room. It was his favorite place on campus. It still had a light that worked, but nobody ever went in there, so they did not have to worry about the staff finding them. At the same time, it left them close enough to sneak out of the room and show up at an entrance if the staff decided to come search for them. Izzy liked it because it was small, and quiet. Even when Markos was gone, he had disappeared into the room a few times, losing himself in his writing or giving himself a few minutes to breathe before having to go to the cafeteria. He had hidden a first aid kit in the dresser that was still in the room, just in case it was needed; and, more than once, he had ended up using it. He had another first aid kit in his bedroom that got used way more often; but, with the state of his leg, it was no wonder. Isa slipped off his shoes before sitting down on the bed, curling up at Markos' side so that he was practically sitting on the other boy's lap. He smiled softly when Markos tugged him closer, and he closed his eyes as he rested his head on the other boy's shoulder. "I missed you, too," Izzy said softly against Markos' shoulder, though he knew the other teen could hear him. "A-a lot..." Izzy was not sure he could accurately describe exactly how much he had missed the other teen, just that he had. It had been so strange without Markos there, after having gotten used to his presence. Markos had been the first boy to kiss him ever, the first person. It was a memory he held fondly. "Please, don't leave again?" The question was a little more muffled that time, but Isa could not bring himself to look at Markos right at that moment. He absently twisted his fingers into the side of the other boy's t-shirt, keeping him held as close as physically possible. Isa closed his eyes with a soft sigh at the feeling of Markos' fingers running through his hair, and he held onto the other boy a little more. "I-I'm fine," Izzy replied with an insistent nod, and he truly believed that he was fine. So, he had inadvertently lost a bit of weight that he did not even really have to lose. So, he may or may not have relapsed hard with his self harm. He was still making good grades, and he was getting better at piano. He was not having panic attacks very often, and when they did happen, they were fairly mild comparatively. Those were good things. So, all in all, he would say that he was fine. He was just fine; more than fine with Markos there. Markos made everything seem better. The other teen had basically become a security blanket to him, but it was more than that at the same time. Izzy truly cared about Markos, liked getting to know him and spending time with him. Isa always felt happier, lighter somehow, whenever he was with Markos. It was a lot of things that he was sure should scare him, but knowing that it was Markos, someone who went out of his way to protect him made Isa less freaked out by those thoughts than he typically would be. "I-I learned a new song on piano. Mr. Jester says I'm doing b-better." He nodded a little, biting his lip lightly for a moment as he snuggled closer to Markos' side, feeling much better there than he had felt anywhere in the time that Markos had been gone.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos revelled in the closeness with Izzy. Contact he'd missed just as much as he missed the boy himself. His parents weren't overly affectionate physically. And while Markos wasn't overly physical... he rather liked being close to Izzy. Because Izzy needed him. Izzy wasn't close to many people, and the very idea that Izzy did need him and needed to be close to him... it made him feel like he could make a difference, not only in his own life but in Izzy's as well. Sitting there with the other male practically in his lap, he let himself stroke the other's hair lightly, enjoying the feeling of the softness of it. Of the scent of it. He bent his head, resting it down against the other male's gently as he felt the other's head rest on his shoulder. Closing his eyes, Markos felt a stab in his chest as the other asked him not to leave him again. "I promise, Izzy. I won't leave again. I didn't want to leave before, but this time, Mr. Jester is going to help us. He won't let them take me from you, alright?" he asked softly, turning his head so his lips brushed over the other's forehead and his hair lightly. "I give you my word of honor... I'll never fail you again." And he wouldn't. He would be Izzy Abby. He would be there, even after St. Helena's if the other wanted. He would be Izzy's Abby. He nuzzled against the other as he felt the other's hand curling into his shirt. When the other replied that he was fine, he lifted his head enough to look at the other to gauge if he was being truthful. "Really? How fine are you?" he asked softly, resting his hand against the other male's head once more, smiling when Izzy stated that he had learned a new song on the piano. "That's great, Izzy..." he said softly. "I'm sure Mr. Jester is very proud of you. I know I am." Another smile as he tightened his hold slightly on the other. "So... I had to have that silly orientation thing with Mr. Jester when I got back right... well... he gave me... some good advice that I want to share with you, Iz..." he said simply, trying to think of how best to confess how he felt to the other male. He settled for raising his head once more and looking at the other, raising one hand to cup the other's cheek and allow it to slide to his jaw, tilting his gaze upwards. "He told me... that I shouldn't hide what I'm feeling... and... while I was gone... I ached, Iz. All over, I ached, and I didn't know why. But now... now those aches are gone... and I think its because of you. I think... I think that I'm in love with you, Izzy... and I really hope that doesn't freak you out or... make you not want to hang out with me anymore... I just... I wanted you to know that." tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 539

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0687 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Izzy could not keep from smiling when Markos stated that he would not leave again. That in itself made him feel a lot better than he had in a long while. He closed his eyes for a moment at he kiss to his forehead, absently tightening his grip on the other teen's shirt. "Good," replied Izzy with a soft smile before leaning up to press a gentle kiss to Markos' lips. "I like it better when you're here." He nodded a little and settled back in to place, hiding his face in Markos' shoulder to hide the faint flush on his face. "I'm r-really fine." Izzy replied with a slight nod. He did not want Markos to know that things had gotten as bad as they did, partly because he still did not see that they actually were. He just knew that other people tended to think that whenever he did something like that, it was bad; so, why would that time be different? Isa did not care about their opinions, though. He just did not want to upset Markos any. Markos meant the world to him, and the last thing he wanted to do was let him down any. It was just better if he did not know. He was distracted from those thoughts, however, when Markos mentioned that he was proud that Izzy had learned that new song. His face flushed and he hid it against Markos' shoulder once again, almost attempting to move forward, though it would be impossible for him to do without actually draping himself across the other teen's lap. His brow furrowed a little, though he let Markos lead his gaze upward once again. A part of him wanted to hide away instead of leaving his face so exposed; but, instead he let out a slightly shaky breath and gripped tightly enough to Markos' shirt that his knuckles turned white. "O-oh, yeah? What did he say?" Whatever ideas Izzy might have had about what Markos was getting ready to tell him, was the farthest thing from what he ended up hearing. Izzy pulled away from Markos enough to fully look at him again, brow furrowing a little. He inhaled sharply when he heard Markos say that he loved him. Nobody had ever said that to him before. "N-no," replied Izzy as he shook his head before biting his lower lip lightly. "I-I mean, no... I don't... I don't want you t-to go anywhere." Isa shook his head once again, gripping the front of Markos' shirt in case he got some silly idea to try to leave or something. He was not sure what he felt or what he thought beyond the fact that his heart was racing a lot faster than he was comfortable with, his face was flushed and he could not keep from smiling softly despite the confusion. "I-I don't... I don't know if I-I can do that." His voice was soft, and unsteady despite him trying really hard to remain calm. He was not sure he knew how to love someone or even if he could. Didn't that mean that Markos was wasting his time? Shouldn't he find someone who could. "I-I d-don't know what it's like to... t-to love someone." He knew that he did not like when Markos was gone any less than Markos did, and that it had made him feel really bad. He knew that he felt better when Markos was there; but, he was not sure what that meant. Did he love Markos? Could he love anyone? He honestly was not sure. In movies, people seemed to just know when they were in love, but Isa had no idea what it was that made them know. He bit his lip lightly for a moment before he kissed Markos again, lingering longer that time. "I-I know th-that I really like you." He spoke softly, face flushing red once more, still nervous but a little less so after their lips touched.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos smiled, glad that he had such an effect on Izzy. While he knew it wasn't healthy for the other to rely so much on his strength, he was glad to be that strength for the other male so long as he needed it and wanted it. He could do that for Izzy. He returned the light kiss that the other offered and smiled again as he stated that he liked it better when he was there. "I like it better when I'm here too," he stated truthfully, smiling at the other male. "I like being where I can see you every day and be there when you need me... and having you here when I need you," he stated, leaning in to nuzzle against the other's hair, inhaling the scent of the other's shampoo. "I like having you near me..." he whispered against the other's hair. He had worried so much about Izzy when he'd been gone. Worried that the other would hurt himself... starve himself by not wanting to go near other people. He didn't like to think about such things, but he hadn't been able to help it... far from where Izzy was so he could look out for him. Of course, now was when he would learn if Izzy was really welcoming those gestures or not. He fought the urge to bite his lip and fret over it, vowing that if Izzy wanted to be left alone, he would abide by the other's wishes, but it wouldn't change how he felt about the other... he would still worry, Markos could already tell. He closed his eyes when the other said 'no'. No he didn't feel the same? Thankfully, the other clarified that he didn't want him to go anywhere. He opened his eyes, looking back at the other, a wave of relief flooding him. "Good, because I really don't want to have to leave. Like I said... I like being around you far to much..." It would have been hard to make himself stay away from the other male. He reached up, stroking the other's cheek, brushing back his hair as he did so. "You don't have to do anything, Isa. I don't expect you to tell me you love me back. I don't expect anything from you... I only hope that you don't come to regret my feelings for you. I care a great deal for you, Issac... and I don't want to lose you." He was being truthful, the way Mr. Jester had told him he needed to be. He offered a small smile to the other male carefully as he stated he didn't know what it was like to love someone. "I didn't either. I just know that I care more for you than I have cared for anyone else. That I'd do anything to keep you happy... keep you healthy... to keep you from harm." He kissed the other's lips lightly. "That I want nothing more than to hold you and keep you safe and locked away where no one can hurt you... even yourself." He cupped the other's cheek, thumb lightly stroking his cheek gently. "I want to make you realize just how beautiful you are, Issac. Inside. Outside. Heart, mind, body.... everything. I want you to see yourself the way that I see you... as being perfect." He nuzzled the other's neck lightly, closing his eyes slightly. "And that... I think... falls under the category of love. I can't imagine wanting to spend my time with anyone else." He only hoped that didn't sound as stalkerish outloud as it was starting to in his head... tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 636

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0628 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Issac smiled softly, closing his eyes for a moment as he snuggled close to the other boy, hanging on to him tightly. "I like having you near me, too," he said softly, nodding a little, tightening his grip on the other teen just a little before relaxing again. He always felt so much safer with Markos near him. He also just felt... happier, as if nothing could go wrong. Markos made him want to smile, and laugh, and just generally be better. It was something he had never felt before, and he was not entirely sure how to deal with that. Isa closed his eyes for a moment as Markos touched his cheek, brushing his hair out of his face. He turned into the touch and only looked at Markos again when the elder teen started speaking again. "I care a great deal for you, Issac... and I don't want to lose you." Iz shook his head at that, sitting up a little straighter so that he could see Markos easier. "You w-won't," he replied softly with a shake of his head. "I'm not going a-anywhere." He was nervous, scared, and unsure; but, he was not going to just disappear or something. He cared too much about Markos to do that. How would he be able to help the other boy at all if he was not there? It would not really work. Izzy remained quiet as Markos went over everything he felt, and Isa found that many, if not all, those things were the same of what he felt about Markos. Did that mean he loved Markos as well? He knew that everything he did feel for the other teen was strong, stronger than anything he had felt before. It was a little terrifying, and Isa was sure his heart was beating a lot faster than normal. At the same time, though, it was almost a relief to know exactly what Markos thought. He liked knowing, more than the small part of him that wished he did not know to avoid the confusion he felt. Isa bit his lower lip lightly and sat up more so that he could shift over and sit so that he was straddling Markos' lap. He wanted to be able to look at the other boy directly as he spoke, and as he was there, he could do that and still be pressed close. "I-I worried about... about you when you were gone," he admitted softly with a nod, watching his own fingers as he let them run across the other boy's chest a little. "I h-hated the thought of, o-of something bad happening. I w-want to keep you happy." He flicked his hair out of his eyes, absently wetting his lips as he looked up from Markos' chest to actually look at him. "Y-you're the only person I've eh-ever cared for like this." Izzy leaned in enough to gently brush his lips against Markos', lingering there for a long few moments before speaking against them. "I-I think I might love you, too." Isa pulled away just enough to judge Markos' reaction, wanting to be able to see his face. It still baffled him that anyone could feel something for him other than hatred. Nobody in his family ever cared for him, and even before going to St. Helena's, he had never really had any friends. He had sort of known Markos from before St. Helena's, but they had never even really talked until the day they bumped into one another the year before. Honestly, Isa could say it was the only time that running into someone had gotten him something good as a result.

TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[Markos James Rhyder]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; border: #000000 8px solid; background-color: #000000; background-image: url(http://a-little-wicked.com/SpooksRandom/InTheDark/MarkosWallpaper.png);] [atrb=width,450] "hello darkness my old friend i've come to talk with you again" Markos was glad Izzy liked having him near. Otherwise, it would complicate things a great deal. He moved his hand up to rest on the back of the other's neck beneath his hair, craddling the other's form against himself as he felt the other's grip tighten on him. "It's alright, Isa. I'm not going anywhere," he whispered, lips brushing over the other's forehead gently. He wanted the other male to know that he was not going to leave him again. No matter what. He didn't know why, but even though he didn't know how it could be done, he trusted that Mr. Jester would be able to keep him at the school. Mr. Jester had never lied to him before, why should he start now? He closed his eyes when Issac told him that he wouldn't lose him, that he wasn't going anywhere. There were several ways to lose his precious Issac though. He tightened the arm that was wrapped around the other's torso, pulling their bodies flush together. "I hope you're right, Isa. It hurts to much to be away from you." A deep-seated ache that Markos hadn't been able to make go away. He hoped he never had to feel it again. He loosened his hold on the other as he shifted though, allowing Issac to move up and actually straddle his lap as he bit at his lower lip. Markos wanted to tell him not to do that, though could only reach up, brushing his thumb over the other's lip lightly, pulling it from between his teeth and then Isa was speaking. He fought the shivers that ran through him at the other's touches to his chest. "I worried about you too, Isa. I worried that you might hurt yourself... or that someone else might hurt you... or that you wouldn't take care of yourself properly..." He whispered, watching the other male. "I want you to be happy. I'm not happy unless you're happy, Isa." He watched the other's eyes come up to his own, revelling in the warmth of the brown orbs. "It's the same for me, Isa. I've never cared for anyone the way I do you..." he confessed, watching him, leaning up slightly as the other leaned in to return the kiss. He closed his eyes at the feeling of the other's lips moving against his, his breath blowing over his lips. At the other's confession, he opened his eyes, looking at him as he pulled away. His hand moved back to the other's neck and then up into the other's hair, pulling him down for a deeper kiss, tilting his head slightly to mold their forms together. His other hand moved back around the other's waist, pulling their forms together again. His tongue snaked out slowly, lightly probing at the other's mouth before breeching the barrier and sliding into Issac's mouth. He inhaled sharply through his nose at his first real taste of the other male, and he gave a soft groan. His lips moved against the other male's for another moment before he pulled away slightly, nipping the other's lower lip lightly and pressing a more chaste kiss to his lips. "I was hoping you'd say that, Isa," he whispered, leaning up to kiss him once more. He'd been so afraid of how Issac would react, but this... this made every doubt go away. The tension released from his muscles and all he could think about was how close Isa was and how much he wanted to show Isa just how much he was loved. He wanted to kiss every part of him. He wanted to dote upon him the way that he deserved, to show Isa that he was completely perfect inside and out. He kissed down the other's jaw and over his throat. "You're so beautiful, Isa. I want you to know that. I love every part of you..." He leaned up, kissing the other's temple. "Your mind..." He then leaned down to press a kiss over the other's chest. "Your heart." Another kiss to his lips. "Your spirit." He looked up at the other male then. "Everything about you..." He shifted them at that point, gently laying the other back on the bed, hovering over him before he leaned down and kissed him once more. He thread his fingers through the other's hair while his other hand moved down and up under the other's shirt gently. His hand ghosted over the bellybutton ring, toying with it slightly as he pulled from the kiss to plant more kisses down the other's jaw and throat, over his exposed shoulder and collarbone lightly. His hand beneath the other's shirt slowly pushed the fabric up, exposing the other's form to him as he leaned down and began kissing over the other's stomach slowly. tag: izzy | outfit: here | words: 841

[/td][/tr][/table][style=width: 500px; height: 15; font-family: arial black; text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1px; font-size: 10; color: FFFFFF; text-transform: uppercase;]template by emrysdaelan of caution 2.0.
leave the credit or angry badgers will nom your face off.[/center]

[Izzy Lucas Steel]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The day we met, Frozen I held my breath. Right from the start, I knew that I'd found a home for my heart... beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: markos words: 0515 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Markos' reassurance that he was not going anywhere made Izzy smile as he stayed close to the other teen. He was glad to hear it, and he gently squeezed Markos before relaxing his grip once again. It was nice to hear, even if it had been said already. When he moved to sit on Markos' lap and the other teen reached up to brush a thumb over his lip to get him to stop biting it, Izzy closed his eyes for a moment, only looking back to Markos as he spoke. His gaze lowered once again, however, when Markos went to go on and explain everything that he had worried about. It was all things that had happened, and it made Izzy feel like a terrible person. He had not meant to worry Markos or do something that caused his worry; but, he had apparently done so. He was not used to someone worrying about him, and did not quite know what to do with that knowledge. "I'm fine," Izzy told him once again, insisting that Markos had nothing to worry about. He was fine. He was more than fine. There was nothing wrong; at least not in his eyes. "I just missed you." He inhaled sharply when Markos deepened their kiss, fingers twisting into the shoulder of his shirt, tugging him closer as he reacted to the way the other teen's lips moved against his own. Izzy was only partially sure of what he was doing, having kissed Markos enough to be less bad at it than he had been to start. Izzy was already slightly flushed when the kiss ended, and that color on his face only deepened as Markos spoke. Markos thought so many wonderful things of him that he did not quite see; but, he believed that Markos believed it. That in itself was enough to make it seem more real, like it could be truth and not an opinion. He gasped almost inaudibly at the change in their position, but he smiled softly at Markos before they were kissing again. He hummed faintly at the feeling of Markos' hand on his skin, something that always made him feel really good. He idly pressed into each kiss pressed against his shoulder, his stomach; and he let his eyes flutter closed as he ran a hand through Markos' hair. "Oh...

[/color]" he breathed softly at the feeling of the other teen's lips brushing over his pale skin. It was new, but not unwanted, however much it might scare him. It was only a little scare, though, nerves that he was sure anyone would get for being touched like he was for the first time. There was a small part of him that realized that he should probably stop Markos before things went farther. After all, there were cuts and scars on his leg that he did not want the other boy to see. However, Izzy was too distracted with how good and calm that Markos seemed to make him feel, where he would probably be panicking were Markos anyone else.

[/div][/td][/tr][/table]
TEMPLATE BY ROYALSTANDARD OF ETS AND CAUTION

[/center]