putting my defenses up {open}

[Rebekah Alina Archer]

august 9, 2013 - 04:05 pm

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The feelings are lost in my lungs. They’re burning, I’d rather be numb. And there’s no one else to blame. So scared, I take off in a run. I’m flying too close to the sun, And I burst into flames. You make me glow, but I cover up. Won’t let it show, so I’m Puttin’ my defences up, ‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: open words: 0635 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Classes were done for the day, and Rebekah was glad. She did not have any volleyball or cheerleading practices that afternoon, and she did not feel like exercising any. Typically, on days when she did not have a practice, she'd go on a couple mile run. That day, though, she felt too distracted to want to do something like that. There was a feeling building in her chest, this overwhelming, unyielding fear that something was going to happen. She lifted her sunglasses up to rest on the top of her head, holding her hair back out of her face as her eyes darted over to the tree line in the distance. Something was definitely going to go wrong, soon. Rebekah clenched and unclenched her fingers as she slowly paced the length of the bleachers on the sideline of the sports field. A part of her wanted to go seek out some company; because, it was always better to be with someone than alone whenever danger struck. At the same time, though, Rebekah was not sure who she could trust, and who was a threat. She needed to work out a plan, a defense system. It was the only way to ensure survival when there were... things out there that liked to pose as people. There were times that Rebekah feared she may be one of them; after all, her parents had been. She sneered at that thought, flexing her fingers once again. She wished that she was allowed her bow on campus. She missed the feel of it in her hands. Maybe she could find someone that would help her smuggle it in. There had to be somebody trustworthy in the school. At the same time, though; she could not let her defenses down too much. Trusting people was when things went wrong. Rebekah continued her pacing, chewing on her lower lip as she moved, trying to figure out the best course of action. She reached up to run a hand through her hair, sending her sunglasses slipping off and down between the slots in the bleachers to the grass below. "Shoot," she said under her breath, looking through the gap in metal to where her sunglasses had landed. She guessed she would just have to climb down there and get them. Dropping her bag on one of the benches, Rebekah made her way down the bleachers to the ground and walked the length of it to one of the sides so that she could grab the sunglasses off the ground. It was not until she was back out from underneath the bleachers that she tensed, realizing that she was not alone out there. Rebekah wet her lips, trying to think fast. She had no weapon on her, but she knew how to throw a decent punch if need be. "Who's there?" she called after a moment, looking around to see who else was in the area. She was ready for a fight, and if anyone came too close, she was hitting them in the face, with an upward open palm. Breaking the nose was a good fallback. She continued to look around her; there were not many places for something to hide. However, she was so focused on finding what it was she thought she had felt, that she did not realize there was another person so close to her until she bumped into them. On reflex, she grabbed the person's arm and swung her leg out to knock the other person's feet out from under them, defensively lifting her free hand in preparation to hit the person if need be. She was not quite sure yet if she should apologize or stay on the defense, and had to wait for the other person's reaction to adjust her own.

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[Hunter Logan Jameson]

Hunter had recently arrived at St. Helena's. Was he thrilled about that? Not especially. It gave him food, and a place to sleep. Over the years, he learned that was all he should hope for when going to a new place. People didn't go the extra mile when they didn't care for a kid. Especially a teenager. Over and over social workers had told him to try to make connections with foster parents. He couldn't, and after a while he just stopped trying altogether. There was no point. On the plus side, no one had tried to use him as a human punching bag. Yet. He cringed involuntarily at that thought, remembering John.

Football practice was after classes, and he decided to go. Not sure why, but it was a way to pass the time. And it didn't hurt that he enjoyed it, even if he had not done it for awhile. It was one thing he was actually good at, unlike everything else he failed at in his life. Athletics he cold do, his favorite being football and basketball. He hadn't gotten any drugs in, so getting high was not an option. Besides, he figured he'd enjoy the sport while he could, because one thing was bound to happen. One, his grades would slip low enough he would be ineligible to play. Or two, he would be moved. If he were to bet, he would guess it would be the latter. He always seemed to be moving.

When practice ended, he made his way over to the bleachers where he'd placed a water bottle before practice. His breathing was heavy and sweat covered his body. He hadn't realized how out of shape he really was. Unscrewing the cap, he put the water to his lips, when suddenly he felt someone's body collide with his own. He looked, concerned, but did not have a chance to say anything before she kicked him, and his legs went out from under him. Water went flying, as he tried to catch himself, not needing or wanting more bruises and pain. Between John and practice, he had enough. He landed with a grunt, air leaving his lungs. That would leave a mark. Or really, another mark. Like everything else, he was used to it by now. He looked at the girl, and raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hell her problem was. Then slowly started to get to his feet.

OUTFIT

[Rebekah Alina Archer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The feelings are lost in my lungs. They’re burning, I’d rather be numb. And there’s no one else to blame. So scared, I take off in a run. I’m flying too close to the sun, And I burst into flames. You make me glow, but I cover up. Won’t let it show, so I’m Puttin’ my defences up, ‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: open words: 0570 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Rebekah was never one to fully think her actions through in the best of times; but, at that moment, she was running on pure instinct. When the guy started to stand up, however, without seeming like he was going to attack back, Rebekah's tension immediately left her body and she quickly switched to helping him stand with the grip on his arm. "Oh, my god," she said, slightly breathlessly. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I thought I saw something, and then you were there, and I... Sorry." She felt kind of bad. The guy did not seem to be someone of threat; which meant she had attacked unjustly. She guessed it could be forgiven, though, seeing as it had been an action of instinct as he was suddenly behind her and her first reaction was that he was danger. "I really am sorry." Rebekah brushed her hair back out of her eyes and smiled sheepishly at him, unsure if she was actually sorry or not. She had yet to decide what she thought of him. He did not seem like an enemy, but maybe she could use him for something. Rebekah was not actively looking for any friends, but the guy could potentially become one. She knew that everyone she met had the potential to become a friend. Now, whether or not they actually did was another story all together. "So, uhm, what are you even doing out here, anyway? I thought all the practices were over," she said as she absentmindedly wet her lips, tipping her head to the side a little while studying the boy that she was talking to. A rustle of leaves in the treeline not too far away tugged her attention toward the woods once again, and she frowned, crossing her arms over her chest with a shudder she could not explain. It was not that windy, and it was warm outside. She should not have been cold. Taking a deep breath, Rebekah closed her eyes for a moment before looking to the teen in front of her once again with a soft, friendly smile. "I'm Rebekah, by the way. I hope I didn't wound your pride too much. Years of self-defense, y'know..." That was one thing she was grateful of her grandfather for, the self-defense and the archery lessons. Without those, she would be all alone in a world she did not think she could fully handle, especially not alone. It was the only way she could make sure that no more monsters got to the people that she cared about. They had taken enough from her, and she would not allow any more. Ever. Not on her watch. She was an Archer; it was her job. "I feel really bad. D'you wanna go grab some pizza or something? I'll pay to make up for it." Honestly, Rebekah did not know how to handle the situation; it was beyond her quick assessment. She honestly was starting to feel bad about having reacted like she had, but without knowing the guy at all, she did not know how to try to make it better. She thought he might have been in one of her classes, but maybe she had just seen him in the halls. Either way, they had never really met before, and she did not know how to deal with that right then.

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[Hunter Logan Jameson]

Hunter let her help him to his feet, and then said softly, ”It's alright...I'm fine,” as he bent down and picked up the now empty water bottle. As he straightened up, he offered her a small smile of his own. ”Don't worry about it,” he told her not voicing the statements of I'm used to taking a beating, or I've had worse, that went though his mind.

Shrugging, he replied, ”Just working out...it was something to do.” Really, he would rather be getting high, but his heroin stash had been confiscated when he'd arrived, and he had yet to find a dealer, or someone he felt he could ask about drugs. He didn't want to be clean, but no one seemed to ever care what he wanted. Getting high was what he did. School was useless, pointless, it's not like he was going to go to college or anything like that. He didn't really hang out with others unless he was high. Well, there had been one exception to that. Emma. She'd brought out the best in him. After her, he decided to keep his distance even more. It wasn't worth the pain.

He was brought out of his thoughts when she spoke again. ”I'm Hunter,” he said figuring he should tell her his name as well. He shifted on his feet feeling awkward. Was he supposed to offer her his hand, or not? He hated social situations like this, he never felt like he knew what he should do. And so, he opted not to offer her his hand. Besides, he didn't want to do something to have her lash out at him again. Being knocked on his ass by a girl was embarrassing, and he prayed no one had seen it.

Hunter cocked his head slightly in confusion. He'd said he was fine, and really he was. Why did she feel the need to buy him pizza? Part of him wanted to say no. He didn't really feel like having to be social, especially with a girl, something he hadn't done in a while. But then, another part of him didn't want to hurt her feelings, and he was not even sure why. ” Um.. okay...I guess, he didn't need her to buy though. While he may not have a ton of money, he had some, and had no intentions of being someones charity case. ”You mean like right now or..?” he trailed off, not sure what to do or say. Sweat lingered on him, and he was sure he did not smell that great. Could he at least shower first?

[Rebekah Alina Archer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The feelings are lost in my lungs. They’re burning, I’d rather be numb. And there’s no one else to blame. So scared, I take off in a run. I’m flying too close to the sun, And I burst into flames. You make me glow, but I cover up. Won’t let it show, so I’m Puttin’ my defences up, ‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: open words: 0658 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Rebekah nodded a little, tucking her hair back behind her ear as the guy said that he was out there working out. She guessed that would make sense. There was not many other things that people might do out there. She was on alert, herself, getting to know the layout of the school, where the weak points were. Plus, she was pretty sure there was something in the tree line. However, at the moment, she was not even really thinking about that. She was more focused on the other teen, and she bit her lip lightly for a moment before she said, "Yeah, I... usually go running for something to do. I didn't feel up to it today, or I would be. I usually run two miles a day." She would probably regret the decision to not go running the next day; but, that would be her problem then. For the time being, that was not a problem. "Hunter, right. I think you're in my Mixed PE class, aren't you?" Rebekah did not know many of the people in her classes. She did not care to know unless they could benefit her in some way. To date, she had not found many that she could use for whatever reason. She was, however, quite amused by the other teen's name. Hunter and the Archer. She was not exactly sure why that struck her as amusing; but, her grandfather had always referred to her as the Archer. So, maybe it was fitting that she would befriend (at least potentially) someone whose name was similar to that of her own. "Really?" she questioned with a growing smile. A part of her had expected him to turn down the offer, and she would not have blamed him. She had literally knocked his feet out from under him. If the roles were reversed, she probably would have just left. "Cool. I mean, that's great. I mean, pizza's awesome. It's my favorite, but it's better shared." Rebekah winced internally, wondering if that had sounded as awkward as she had thought it did. Usually, she was a lot better handling situations that involved confrontations with people; but, for some reason, that afternoon, she was just thrown. Rebekah had no idea why, and it practically unnerved her. However, she could not afford to dwell on it. She would save that for whenever she was alone again. "Well, I mean, 'm sure you want to shower first, at least. I know I always feel like a shower after volleyball or cheerleading," she replied with a soft laugh, scrunching her nose a little before brushing her hair out of her eyes again. "We could meet at the gate here in a bit? I mean, if you want to. Or... another time, maybe?" Rebekah honestly had no idea what she was doing. She was not one to make plans to hang out with people. Typically, she was the one invited places and she just showed up. It was so much easier than trying to think of the right way to handle the situation. Rebekah was much better at that. "Wow, uhm, I probably sound like a weirdo. I'm sorry." She smiled sheepishly as she crossed one arm over her torso to rub the opposite arm with her hand, chewing on her lower lip for a moment before smiling once again. "I've not... I don't usually hang out with people. I'm usually busy, so... I'd like to, though. I mean... maybe make a new friend." Rebekah shrugged a little, lifting both shoulders for a moment before dropping them back into her slightly poor posture. She was not exactly sure why she wanted to try to be friends with Hunter, but she did; and, so, she would try. Even if she failed. She was not weak enough to just not attempt it. She was the Archer, after all.

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[Hunter Logan Jameson]

Hunter rolled the water bottle around in his hands, looking down at it. He didn't think he was any good at this sort of thing, talking to other people. When she started to speak he looked at her. He smiled slightly at her, and nodded. He liked running too. Or rather, he did. It had been awhile since he'd done anything very athletic. Running, basketball, football were all things he had enjoyed. Things he had stopped doing to get high. He opened his mouth to say maybe they could go running together some time, but then closed it, keeping quiet. Why would she want to do that with him? He was sure someone like her had better things to do than work out with a loser like him. ”Yeah,” he replied to her question. He knew she had looked familiar, but hadn't recalled from where. Hunter often kept to himself, especially when he was the new kid somewhere.


”Um.. yeah,” he replied. All Hunter could figure was she was being nice to him because she had knocked him down. That after she didn't feel guilty about it any more she would want nothing to do with him. He knew he did not really give off a friendly vibe, at least he thought that. He wasn't outgoing or talkative. ”Pizza's good,” he agreed. Mexican food was his favorite. That was one thing he could remember about his childhood with his Abuela, that she had made really good authentic Mexican food. He focused back on Rebekah as she talked, and a small smile crossed his face. ”Probably a good idea. I don't think you'd want to sit next to me without one. Today works. I mean... unless you're busy, you know .. we can do it another time,” he looked away slightly embarrassed as he fumbled through his words. Looking back at her he paused for a minute before saying, ” No, you don't,” his smile grew slightly before he continued, ”I know what you mean...I don't really either. Hunter figured their reasons for being busy were very different. He took a step back, crunching the water bottle in his hands as he did so. Then turned and started walking toward his dorm. After a few steps he looked back at her to say softly, So, I'll see you by the gate in a little bit. He figured she deserved one last chance to change her mind, he wouldn't hold it against her.

[Rebekah Alina Archer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The feelings are lost in my lungs. They’re burning, I’d rather be numb. And there’s no one else to blame. So scared, I take off in a run. I’m flying too close to the sun, And I burst into flames. You make me glow, but I cover up. Won’t let it show, so I’m Puttin’ my defences up, ‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: open words: 0605 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Rebekah would have loved the offer to go running with her. She would feel so much safer, if she had someone running with her. There was strength in numbers. Plus, she did not think the company would be that bad. However, she was not aware of his thought, or she would have definitely gone with that idea. She smiled softly at his short answers, figuring that he probably was not one to talk too much. That was okay, though. When she wanted, Rebekah could talk enough for the both of them. "Right, yeah. I thought I'd seen you around," she replied when he answered that he was in her gym class. That made things a bit easier, she thought. They had at least sort of met before. Rebekah shook her head when Hunter said they could go another time if she was busy. "No, I'm not busy. Today's good." She smiled with a laugh, tucking her hair back behind her ear. The longer she thought about the whole thing, the less awkward she felt. She could do this. Rebekah let out a breath she did not realize she was holding and she laughed softly when Hunter told her that she did not sound like a weirdo. That was a good thing, because she did not want to come across as one. People already thought she was weird because of what she knew, what she had seen. They said she was crazy; and, she thought they were simply blinded to the truth. Hunter started to leave and Rebekah bit her lip for a moment, wondering if he really would meet her there. She couldn't help but smile as he turned to make sure they really were meeting up, and she nodded, brushing her hair out of her face. "Yeah. I've gotta run some things to my dorm, but I'll be there," she replied. She waited until Hunter had gone to the dorms before she grabbed her bag from its place on the bleachers and started to the girls' dorm so she could leave her bag there. She decided to leave her scarf there, as well, not wanting to wear it when it was likely to be a pizza sauce magnet. She did touch up her make-up a little, like she always did near the end of the day if she knew she was going to be in public. It had been a long time when she had hung out with someone for any reason other than because she needed something from them. She didn't need anything from Hunter, though. She just wanted to spend time with him, which was odd. Once she felt that she was presentable, she grabbed her book for English so that she could read while she waited for Hunter. Rebekah bit her lower lip lightly, tapping her index finger against the side of her book as she read, and only looked up when a shadow crossed over her. She smiled as she looked up to see Hunter there. "Hey!" she said brightly as she stuck her bookmark in her spot. "You ready to go?" Rebekah stood up and brushed off the back of her shorts, flicking her hair back out of her eyes. She held her book in front of her, smiling at him. "There's this small place in town I found that has really, really good food. And all you can drink soda." She was a bit nervous, but at the same time, was excited. She had not had a friend in a long time, and was worried about messing things up.

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[Hunter Logan Jameson]

Hunter nodded when Rebekah confirmed she wold be there, but did not try to get his hopes up. She could still bail on him. As he walked back to the male dorms, he tossed his empty water bottle into a recycling bin. Opening the door to his room, he tossed his bag on the floor by his bed, he'd worry about that later. Hunter stripped and stepped into the shower, washing himself quickly but well, with his Irish spring soap. He lathered up his hair, before rinsing, stepping out of the shower with a towel tied around his waste. As he made his way to his dresser it dawned on him. He had no clue what to wear. Hunter did not think he needed to dress too nice, it was a pizza place after all. And it was not a date, just two friends having dinner. Were they even friends yet? Or more acquaintances? It had been so long since he'd done anything like this, he was nervous. About saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing.

Sighing softly, he grabbed clothes he would just wear on a normal day, and went into the bathroom. They hardly knew each other, and he was not at all looking for a girlfriend, so why bother trying to impress her? Either, she would like him for who he was, and maybe they'd be friends. Or she wouldn't, and they'd go their separate ways, no harm, no foul. Really, deep down though he would not admit it to himself, he really hoped they would become friends. It had been so long since he'd had a friend, someone he really let intp his heart, his soul. Let that person see who he was completely. Ot since Emma had that happened. It would be nice to have someone that he felt comfortable talking to, that he enjoyed talking to, again. He dressed quickly, and applied some product to his hair, not bothering to take the time to blow dry it. It was short, it would dry fast enough, he thought.

On his way out the door, he grabbed his wallet, fully intending to not let Rebekah pay for his part of the meal. He locked the door behind him, and made his way outside. As he got closer to the gate he spotted Rebekah by it, and could not help but smile. It had been a long time since he had felt this way. Happy. It was strange, and he was not sure what to make of it. He approached her, his body casting a slight shadow over whatever book she was reading. His eyes did not linger on it for long, knowing it would just put him in a bad mood. Instead, he focused on her face, smiling softly at her, returning her greeting with a ”Hi,” of his own. It may not have been as peppy as Rebekah's, but for Hunter it was happy. Far happier sounding than he usually was. ”Yeah,” he said nodding. ”Sounds good to me,” he said glancing at her with a smile as he started walking. Hunter had not smiled this much in a long time. He was happy and nervous. Social things were not his thing. Especially when not under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.He stuck his hands in his pockets, and bit his lip some, not sure what to say.

OUTFIT # 2

[Rebekah Alina Archer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 0px; background: #ffffff;,true][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] The feelings are lost in my lungs. They’re burning, I’d rather be numb. And there’s no one else to blame. So scared, I take off in a run. I’m flying too close to the sun, And I burst into flames. You make me glow, but I cover up. Won’t let it show, so I’m Puttin’ my defences up, ‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack.
[atrb=width,300][cs=1]	[atrb=width,200] tagged: open words: 0670 outfit: here notes: idek. hi?
[cs=2][atrb=width,500] Nerves were something that Rebekah was no stranger to. However, it was typically more to do with the feeling of being watched and worrying about the things she knew were out there that nobody else seemed to notice. It never had anything to do with a boy. Of course, Rebekah had never really spent much time hanging out with people her own age, and her parents had always seemed glad that she had never been one of those boy-crazy teens. Then again, they were just monsters in the end. Their opinions were invalid. "So, have you seen much of the town yet? It's kinda small, but I like it better than the city," Rebekah explained as they walked, holding her book in front of her, keeping her senses open for any signs of a threat around them. They had to walk along the road to town, which was really just a five minute walk, but there were a lot of trees on either side of the road and danger seemed to like the trees. It just made Rebekah's hands itch to have her bow and arrows back. She felt so open and naked without them. She could still defend herself without it; but, she was an archer, in name and trade. It was what she was best at. "I should warn you, the pizza at the place we're going is pretty addicting. I'll just end up running it off tomorrow; but, fair warning. It's seriously the best part of this town, I think." Rebekah was pretty picky when it came to where she got her pizza. She would never order Papa John's (to tasteless) or Domino's (too greasy). Well, she would order Domino's when she was in that mood where she just wanted something really super greasy and bad for you. However, she would do Pizza Hut a lot and a few good small places. Chains like CiCi's or Pizza Street or even Pizza Inn were no go's. She refused to ever go back to any. Rebekah kept herself in shape enough that she could basically eat whatever she wanted and never gain too much weight. It did tend to fluctuate a bit depending on how much take out she got versus home cooked food. There at the school, though, Rebekah was fairly sure she was going to rely on take out because cafeteria food was disgusting. "So, are you an only child or do you have siblings? Or do you not wanna talk about it?" Rebekah realized after she had first asked her question that Hunter might be one of those people that did not like talking about his family. She had no idea why he was at the school or what his home life was like; but, she guessed it could not be as bad as her own. Her own parents probably would have ended up killing her if she had not stopped them. Rebekah eyed Hunter out of the side of her eye, wondering if he was a threat. He did not feel like one, though; and, Rebekah considered herself very good at sensing peoples' intentions. "I had a brother and sister... before. My family, uh... well, they met a bad ending." Her parents were at her own hand, but Rebekah really did not want to try to explain that to Hunter. She was not sure if he would understand or even believe her. Rebekah did not want either of those, so she figured it would be best to just leave him free of that specific information. She missed her siblings sometimes, and a wave of grief hit her that she did not want to acknowledge. It was a weakness and she could not afford to show any weaknesses to anyone. That was when they were most likely to turn on you. Rebekah flicked her hair out of her eyes and shrugged a little. "S'just me now, but sometimes... sometimes it's for the best."

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